Yep, ran into an old lover in a store who I had left years before, who loved me but who I had never been able to see myself with forever, despite our long relationship ... I dumped him, married someone else ... old lover and I had been through hell together but he was a good guy, we just werent meant to be ... I gushed when I saw him in the store, wanted to hug him so hard, so many feelings left for him, I shook his hand so hard, all he would really allow really ... no kiss, no hug ... I realized in hindsight ... he was kind of cold and distant, and when he pulled his hand away first, like just extricated his hand sotospeak, I realized he had gotten over me years ago and that it was me who was not over him. That was more than 20 years ago and I am still married and happy ... but haunted by him and what we might have been. One of the last upheavals before I left him for good was that I got pregnant by him and had an abortion; he was a stand-up guy, let me do what I wanted, abort, and he paid for it, took me to the clinic. That was sort of the beginning of the end, I had only slept with him out of sadness and loneliness, I thought. But realized later, as an older, smarter adult, that I did cherish his kindness to me and realized that kindness is not something you find every day.
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I ran into one in St. Patrick's Cathedral once around Christmastime.
With her whole family ... and they didn't like me too much when we were dating.
Suffice to say, there was no Christmas miracle.
Yep, ran into an old lover in a store who I had left years before, who loved me but who I had never been able to see myself with forever, despite our long relationship ... I dumped him, married someone else ... old lover and I had been through hell together but he was a good guy, we just werent meant to be ... I gushed when I saw him in the store, wanted to hug him so hard, so many feelings left for him, I shook his hand so hard, all he would really allow really ... no kiss, no hug ... I realized in hindsight ... he was kind of cold and distant, and when he pulled his hand away first, like just extricated his hand sotospeak, I realized he had gotten over me years ago and that it was me who was not over him. That was more than 20 years ago and I am still married and happy ... but haunted by him and what we might have been. One of the last upheavals before I left him for good was that I got pregnant by him and had an abortion; he was a stand-up guy, let me do what I wanted, abort, and he paid for it, took me to the clinic. That was sort of the beginning of the end, I had only slept with him out of sadness and loneliness, I thought. But realized later, as an older, smarter adult, that I did cherish his kindness to me and realized that kindness is not something you find every day.
And it never fails, I'm never "at my best" in terms of attire and overall "polish." I should learn from this and only shop when I look fantastic!
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