What if we found out that "Eve" was actually the Hebrew word for "Steve"?

Just saw a preview for the new movie, "Partly Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs."

Where the Wild Things Are
Harry Potter
Charlotte's Web
Curious George
The Spiderwick Chronicles
Tale of Despereaux
Twilight
Bridge to Terabithia

I feel so relieved that children will never be burdened by having to read again.

The name tag of the 21st Century.

Watching Bruce Springsteen perform it became more clear than ever.

We should all make sure we are spending our days doing what we love.

Will stick to drawing Tippy the Turtle.

Drawing the pirate just seems awkward at this point.

Reading a book about Frank Lloyd Wright.

So far he is not nearly as likable as his work.

The treadmill I plug my headphones into kept shocking me. I finally found out it was because the rubber things around my old headphones were worn off.

And here I was running faster and faster for nothing.

An amazing new promotion for GM car buyers.

If you buy a car from GM and then lose your job within the next 24 months, you get to run GM.

Subway's "Five! Five Dollar Foot Long!" bit would not work for restaurants like The Cheesecake Factory.

"Seven! Seven dollar slice of cheesecake!" just doesn't have the same ring.

I can see it now. Firemen carrying my children out of my burning house.

My kids telling them, "No. No. That alarm is just the sound the house makes when our mom cooks."

Buffering.

Have you ever thought about how far we've come in 16 years? You will.

Nevermind overachieving, I can't believe how many things I have to say over and over a day just to keep my kids alive.

Eat. Eat. Eat. Eat. Drink your water. Put on a coat. Take your vitamin. Take your vitamin. Eat. Eat. Eat. Don't stick that in there. Look both ways. Look both ways. Make sure you look both ways. Wear your helmet. Stay by my side. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Eat. Eat. Eat.

When you're seven years old, 56 April Fool's Day jokes are sooooooooo much funnier than 1.