If you want something done NOW, ask a 9 year old.

Mine just ran down the stairs and through the house naked and dripping wet to say he was happy the new shampoo was not tested on animals.

I think second marriages are often successful because people in them understand that it could end.

I try to remember that the first time around.

Cpt. Sullenberger did so much more than save the lives of the 155 people aboard Flight 1549.

He also gave hope in the last minutes to the untold travelers who will die in plane crashes in the future.

Getting this country back on track, step one: Fire the lazy.

I just ate soybeans that were made to look and taste like a burger.

Nobody ever makes beef look and taste like a soybean.

I know I haven't been posting as often. When I don't have anything to say, I just don't say it.

Just one more way I'm trying to live my life in direct contrast to the philosophy of 24 hour news channels.

I spend hours and hours and hours and hours worrying about things that never end up happening.

I think it's working.

I love to be on super super super empty flights.

You never hear, "A United Airlines 757 went down today. There were 11 people on board."

You're not going to believe what happened to me on the plane.

For those of you who read regularly, you know how I feel about airplane bathrooms. 

Well, on this airplane, the light was not connected to the lock. (I did not realize this until it was too late.) As I started my business I was actually thinking about how I could feel confidence in the lock because the light was on when low and behold the door opens! Suffice it to say, my dignity was not shielded by darkness. And I worried about that plane's engines for the rest of the flight.

I may have lost a laptop, but I gained some insight.

State Police are a lot nicer when you're 41 and looking for a missing laptop at Logan Airport than they are when you're 21 and peeing on someone else's patio at 3am.

No, Aunt Pat. That never happened.