The older I get the more little boys I see wearing suits.

Oh, the To Do list of a 9-year old.

I am oddly comforted by heavy rains causing an Eggo shortage. Somehow it makes Eggos seem like actual food.

More on the shortage.

"Freaking" is the training bra of swears.

Taking it out of my kids' vocabulary.

I'm convinced the internet was invented by Ritalin. Nice job, guys.

When automatic sinks don't work immediately when I put my hands under the faucet, I momentarily question whether I actually exist.

We should all have police lights and sirens to pop on our car when we really need to get somewhere fast. But only be allowed to use it 3 times. Ever.