The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that Amazon Prime kept its end of the bargain...

Saw a guy riding a motorcycle recklessly while smoking a cigarette this morning. I guess the cigarette is plan B.

You know those Skype apps that let you look like a clown or like you're on a roller coaster? What they really need is one that makes freelancers look like they're showered and dressed.

I have no idea why there would be a blimp flying over my house today.

Is there Driver's Ed for blimps?

Just got back from LA. I fear I have tapas elbow.

I just turned an end piece of bread into a regular piece of bread with a simple kitchen knife.

I may as well go back to bed because there is no topping that today.

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It seems like everybody just wants everybody ELSE to stop texting while driving.

10 and 2, friends.

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The 1st jelly bean is so much better than the 57th.

Starbucks on Easter is adorable. Nobody knows the drill.

My kids are weighing their heads. Too many snow days?

Okay, okay...I won't order the seafood.

It was really thoughtful of them to repeat the phone number in an email.

Tricky vampires.

I like the Starbucks baristas who talk to me like we both know they're there for the health insurance.

For loner babies.