Yesterday I was sitting with a friend on my deck when he got pooped on by a passing bird.

I couldn't help but marvel at how free it must feel to be a bird.

As I drop my mother off at the airport after a three-day visit she says, "Amy, you look so pretty. Much prettier than when we arrived."

Ah, it's good to be the daughter of an Irish woman.

And I couldn't love her any more! :)

10 effective numbers for starting blog headlines.

1. 10

2. 12

3. 7

4. 8

5. 5

6. 15

7. 9

8. 18

9. 50

10. 6

Things that come to me while vacationing in Maine: Receiving the gift of naming a star would be pretty romantic.

Receiving the gift of naming all the stars would be a total pain in the ass.

I was not enthusiastic about this restaurant feeling the need to add more clarification.

Yes, they added "with soap".

I'm not sure they chose the right name.

When you lose your keys as often as I do, every day is like Easter morning.

Just thought I'd go for a new take on the situation.

"Life is between the trapeze bars." -Unknown

I love this quote, but it haunts me that the author is unknown. Did he fall before anyone got his name?

I don't know who's aging faster, my kids or Barack Obama.

I know a few adults who actually like Where's Waldo.

These are obviously people who do not lose their keys as often as I do.

I do not look forward to voice activated television.

"American Idol"

"Sports Center"

"American IDOL"

"SPORTS CENTER!!"

"AMERICAN IDOL!!!!"

"SPORTS!!!!!! CENTER!!!!!!"

"AMERICAN!!!!!! IDOL!!!!!!!!!!!"