Tomorrow I'll get up early to drink DietCoke, eat chips, lose stuff, skip church, forget your birthday, swear and talk on the phone while I drive.

I want the resolution monkey off my back by noon.

I wonder how good you have to be for Santa to clean the house while he's at it.

TSBITW wishes you all a very Merry Christmas!!!!!

Todays guest poster: Andrea Gavin!! Andrea writes:

It's official. The decorative wine bag is the new fruit cake.

Want to guest post? Add your insight, quip or anecdote in the comments section.

I feel sad when I see houses with balconies that are impossible to get to.

Everyday those people come home to unattainable dreams staring them right in the face.

I recently realized that about 20% of my traffic comes from random Google searches.

Botox. Viagra. Gay porn. How to grow my marijuana. George Bush shoe.

In most of my important relationships there has been a moment when I realized, "Hey, we've become good friends."

Unfortunately my next thought is almost always, "I wonder if I'll be at his/her funeral or he/she will be at mine."

One in three toys is toxic?

After reading this, I decided I would no longer tell my son to stop picking his nose. It just might be the safest place to put his fingers.

Gas prices have fallen from $4.11 to $1.56 in 77 days.

Obama might not be The Savior, but I'm now pretty sure God is a Democrat.

Last night my 2 boys joined the universe of males who have shared the same moment of joy: they learned the flush toilet was invented by Thomas Crapper

I promise you it was better than Christmas morning.