The shortestblogintheworld is on an extended holiday in Tulsa.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Thanks for reading! We'll see you on January 1st!

I can't decide which has grown more tedious: The Twelve Days of Christmas or joke versions of The Twelve Days of Christmas.

Answering my kids' questions about sex does not make me uncomfortable at all.

Answering their questions about why the snow on the side of the highway is so black does.

The answer is yes. You ARE smarter than a fifth grader. You're even as smart as a sixth grader.

This blog's reading level was rated: JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL.
Congratulations! After this you can tackle The Catcher in the Rye!

Get your blog's rating. It's cool. Go. Now. Do it.

On my lunch with a new friend.

I realized she was crazy before the bread came.

It's 2007.

Will there ever come a day when the answer is definitely not "unplug it and plug it back in"?

The sweet spot of prosperity.

Just enough to afford 800 thread count sheets (with coupon.) Not enough to be unimpressed by them.

Al Gore and my mailman.

The two faces of holiday junk mail distress.

People bristle at the thought of veal. Yet baby back ribs are the things restaurant chain jingles are made of.

I know. I know. But we call them BABY BACK RIBS. It's almost as if we're gloating.

The true meaning of Christmas is no longer available at Wal-Mart.

While I really don't care how I would be greeted walking into a Wal-Mart, I don't understand any Christian's insistence that Wal-Mart use "Merry Christmas" in their greetings and circulars over the secular "Happy Holidays." I would think Christians would bristle at the thought of Wal-Mart using "Christmas" to sell DVD players.