Why do recipes always tell me to save time by chopping things ahead? Are there more hours in the day before the day I want dinner?

Dear tired-looking woman who looked at me and said, "You are doing a great job," when my 10yo held the door open for you and your ruckusy boys.

Don't be fooled. Just 10 minutes earlier I had yelled at mine for being selfish, and then felt bad. We are all in this together. And YOU are doing a great job.

If what comes around really goes around none of us will ever need to buy new bubblewrap.

I should never know what color gum you are chewing.