Watching 24-hour news channels is like watching professional wrestling.

After 4 months of dealing with the cable company, I now know why women sometimes sleep with the cable guy.

They are not desperate housewives. They're just so happy their HBO finally works.
(Disclaimer: I did NOT sleep with the cable guy. I mean, I'd have to see the HBO keep working for at least a week.)

Whenever I'm at an exciting landmark with my family I'm always tempted to ask a stranger to take our picture. But with their camera.

Imagine there's no laundry.

John Lennon's lesser known lyrics.